piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
