I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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