I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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