we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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