so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
