I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
