She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
