either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
