There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
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I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"