Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.

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  (908): fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off. http://tfl.nu/8rwr
  Replies (40) Good night (1045) Bad night (5900)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.

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  (804): Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush. http://tfl.nu/5pf3
  Replies (13) Good night (5302) Bad night (1748)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

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  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
  Replies (8) Good night (853) Bad night (4044)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.

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  (360): Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night. http://tfl.nu/91du
  Replies (49) Good night (7822) Bad night (1276)
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  (415): View more from California

  so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?

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  (415): so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then? http://tfl.nu/dz1l
  Replies (19) Good night (3586) Bad night (1064)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub

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  (616): someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/yova
  Replies (1) Good night (1808) Bad night (636)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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  (502): I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high. http://tfl.nu/gsqh
  Replies (8) Good night (1971) Bad night (714)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.

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  (412): Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever. http://tfl.nu/jfd9
  Replies (11) Good night (1909) Bad night (665)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.

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  (407): Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people. http://tfl.nu/19v1
  Replies (12) Good night (1864) Bad night (803)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.

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  (208): Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied. http://tfl.nu/8j3b
  Replies (6) Good night (848) Bad night (414)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"

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  (780): I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future" http://tfl.nu/8p29
  Replies (7) Good night (1056) Bad night (347)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.

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  (719): Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done. http://tfl.nu/9qf5
  Replies (5) Good night (1222) Bad night (336)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me

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  (801): I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me http://tfl.nu/6usl
  Replies (9) Good night (1864) Bad night (353)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.

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  (937): Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though. http://tfl.nu/d5b6
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (232)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Give me weed or give me death?

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  (703): I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane. (1-703): Give me weed or give me death? http://tfl.nu/f8a2
  Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (323)

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