I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.