He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??