do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???