I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?