Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?