Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
