Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
