so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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