I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
