Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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