do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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