just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
