In the future we'll all be gay
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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