He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
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We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize