First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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