You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize