I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize