apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
