I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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