he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
