so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize