I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
