Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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