a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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