I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
