just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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