i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
