Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
