they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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