Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
