Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
