that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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