The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
