My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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