benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
