it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
