Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Never joke about your clitoris.
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