Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize