How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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