I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
