I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
