Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
