i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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