OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize