apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
