dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
false alarm, still single
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
