Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
