This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
