You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
