Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
