Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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