After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Randomize
