Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
