Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
