i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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