i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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