Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
