Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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