Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
