This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
